Don't Feel A Thing
by kenwave
Summary: AU. The plan was to get into HYDRA, get the guy, and live life happily ever after. It doesn't exactly happen how Bucky imagined it was going to.


**A/N: Can you guess what this is based on? All mistakes are my own and I apologise for any of them.**

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><p><span>Chapter One:<span>

The scent of laundry detergent wafts around Bucky, giving him a headache. The small laundromat is extremely white, the only thing adding colour to the room are the clothes that people are putting in and taking out of the washing machines, and the clothes that are tumbling inside the dryers.

Bucky puts down the large bag filled with laundry next to the washing machine he plans on using.

It's the one on the furthest end of the laundromat in a dark, sad looking corner. He always uses this washing machine. It's never taken when he goes in and everyone else avoids it, preferring to use the washing machines near the windows and socialising amongst themselves while their clothes tumble. Bucky's also pretty sure one of the reasons why it's never taken is because the regulars recognise that this is his washing machine. Kind of like when a student claims their seat in high school on the first day if the teacher decides to not use a seating plan.

He doesn't think about how one of the reasons they leave him be is because of his generally gruff exterior with his shaggy, long hair, dark circles under his eyes, and metal prosthetic left arm.

He doesn't need them. He's got Natasha. Everyone in the laundromat could go and fuck themselves for all he cares.

Everyone except for one person.

Steve.

Steve is probably the best person that Bucky has ever met. He escorts women home late at night when shifty men are out and about and defends those who are weak. He also spreads awareness about things as well. Sometimes Steve puts up fliers advertising the VA, and at others he's handing out a sheet with a bunch of help lines written on it.

Even though Steve is small and looks as if a good gust of wind could blow him over, he doesn't stop being a genuinely great individual.

It also doesn't stop Steve from picking fights with people he probably shouldn't. Bucky honestly does worry about him, especially when the weather starts to get cooler, bringing a wave of sickness with it.

As he waits for his laundry to finish washing, Bucky notices Steve enter the small laundromat with his own bag of laundry. He watches out of the corner of his eyes as Steve meticulously sorts through his lights and darks.

Steve always takes two of the washing machines near the back and mostly keeps to himself. Sometimes he will go and talk to someone, but that's usually a rare thing.

Soon enough, Bucky's laundry is finished and neatly folded. He gives Steve one last glance, one that Steve remains blissfully oblivious to, and leaves.

**X**

Natasha is waiting for him back at their small shared apartment, watching the TV with disinterest. Bucky gives her a small smile and slumps down next to her on their old couch.

"Was Steve there today?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"Have you spoken to him yet?"

"No," Bucky sighs. Natasha rolls her eyes at him and flips to the Food Network. He watches four chefs frantically try to make a dish out of some frankly ridiculous ingredients in only twenty minutes.

He's not really into the show, despite it being one that he normally enjoys.

As soon as the winner of ten thousand dollars is announced, Bucky slinks away into his bedroom and sits at his desk. After some deliberation, he boots up his somewhat out of date computer and opens his emails.

Mixed right with spam and alerts from youtubers he had subscribed to is the email that he had been waiting for what seemed like years to receive.

He takes a deep breath and clicks on the email. His future could very well be in there.

"To the Winter Soldier," Bucky reads. "We have received your application to become a member of HYDRA. Unfortunately, we have not seen any examples of your work and are quite hesitant to accept you. You have one week to commit a crime that is big enough for us to notice."

Bucky groans and puts his head in his hands. Of course they would be more hesitant to accept someone who relies on stealth to commit his crimes. If he was more flashy, and still as successful, they would take him in a heartbeat. But he doesn't like to bring attention to himself, which is why the media generally refers to him as 'the Ghost'.

For all HYDRA knew, he was lying about his achievements. After all, no one knows the face of the Winter Soldier, well, except for Iron Man.

He would say that it was a shock when he found out Iron Man knew who he actually was, but honestly, it wasn't. The man's Tony Stark after all, he has ways of figuring these things out.

Bucky closes his emails and resigns himself to watching cute cat videos online. He really doesn't have anything better to do.

Natasha knocks on his bedroom door. Before he can say anything, she enters his room and sits on his bed.

"Are you okay?" she asks him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He turns away from the computer monitor to face her.

"You sure?"

Bucky sighs and shakes his head, his hair getting in his eyes.

"What's up?" Natasha's used to his moods by now. Before the accident where he had lost his arm, he was quite the flirter. He was also quite a sociable person too, always spending some of his spare change on going out to a bar or taking out a date - which was pretty rare despite his popularity.

Then the accident happened and he started to retreat into himself. That is, until Natasha came up to him, her fire red hair seeming to glow in the light, and declared they were going to live together.

With her help, he had started to open up more.

It was also when he had started to commit crimes. Natasha helps him on occasion, but they both prefer to commit solo crimes than teaming up.

"I got a reply from HYDRA," he says and joins her on his bed.

"Yeah?" she encourages him to continue.

"They want me to commit a crime that will attract attention. Apparently they aren't too sure if I'm telling the truth about who I say I am or not."

Natasha makes a face. "But that's not your style, nor mine."

"I know."

They lapse into an uneasy silence, taking comfort in each other's warmth.

"I don't understand why you want to join them, James," she says. "They have no honour or shame."

"I've told you before, Nat. I need to join up with them. They'll protect Steve. They'll make sure he gets medical care and they'll make sure that he won't get killed from one of his fights," Bucky explains.

Natasha looks at him sadly and puts her hand on his arm. "James," she says, "he doesn't even know if you're still alive or not. You haven't spoken to him since high school."

Bucky sighs. "I know."

Steve and Bucky had been inseparable during elementary school. They had been the best of friends. Steve would get into fights he couldn't finish and Bucky would finish them for him. Teachers learned to always make them sit beside each other if they shared a class or there would be hell to pay. In middle school, Bucky had started go turn the heads of girls - and the occasional boy. But Bucky only had eyes for Steve, he still does.

As they had entered high school, they grew apart. Steve became busy with his art and had made a new friend who saw him for his greatness, Peggy Carter. Bucky had liked Peggy well enough, she's a real firecracker, but he couldn't help but be jealous of her. Whereas he only had eyes for Steve, Steve and Peggy only had eyes for each other. So Bucky had left Steve and Peggy to be with each other, he had made sure there were no hard feelings, and eventually became friends with Natasha and Clint. Life went on, Bucky was in a car accident that had resulted in the loss of his left arm, he became a part of the human testing for more advanced form of prosthetics, and ended up becoming a criminal of all things. And throughout it all, his eyes remain on skinny little Steven Grant Rogers.

He and Natasha fall asleep together on his queen sized bed. Despite her much smaller stature, Natasha curls around Bucky to comfort him.

**X**

Bucky stands around the corner of an alleyway, keeping a watchful eye on the bank. It's early in the morning and the sun has yet to rise. A light fog has settled over the city, obscuring everyones vision enough for it to be effective.

He hopes that Iron Man isn't going to be around at this time of day so his robbery can go smoothly. He just needs to bring enough attention to himself so the police notice, therefore HYDRA notices, and nothing else.

Hell, he doesn't even really want the money. He's generally happy with his place in society.

He does it for the thrill.

A thrill that he only feels right in the middle of a crime, when he's standing right in front of his objective and there's nothing there to stop him from taking it. No one knows what's taking place right under their noses.

There is no sound. Not even birds. The way that the fog rests heavily on the ground and curls around the lamp posts and tree stumps is eerie.

Bucky suppresses a shiver.

He looks around, making sure there is no one there to witness him. He sticks to the shadows and unlocks the bank with the key he had stolen from one of the guards when they had switched shifts.

The alarm doesn't sound. He makes his way across the bank. His footfalls are silent and the only thing he can hear is his own breathing, muffled behind the mask that obscures the lower half of his face. Since it's still dark, he doesn't need to wear the goggles he normally puts on and instead had smeared black war paint across his eyes.

Bucky makes sure to stay out of view of the security cameras. He's studied the workings of this particular bank often enough with the objective of robbing it one day to know the inner workings of it.

It's then that he remembers the e-mail he had received earlier on in the week. The one that told him that he was _too_ good at what he does. That in order to get accepted into HYDRA he has to be more overt rather than covert.

He mentally swears. He knows that if he does end up being more overt he'll fuck up the robbery for sure. But becoming a member of HYDRA is what he has been waiting for since he had gotten into the life of crime. HYDRA, surprisingly, has good benefits for its members, and surprisingly offers some pretty decent insurance. As soon as he gets in, he'll work his way up from just being a newbie, and will get the not as influential or powerful members to protect Steve. He'll be able to give Steve everything he deserves and more. The world will learn that Steve is not one to be messed with or they will witness the wrath of the Winter Soldier.

He elects to ignore the instructions in the e-mail for this one crime. Too much is at stake this time.

A guard sweeps past the hallway Bucky is melting into the shadows of. His piercing blue eyes gaze out, staring at the security camera pointed in the opposite direction. He supposes he should probably deal with those before he goes anywhere near the bank vault.

When he's sure the guard has moved on from the hallway, he slinks down to where he knows the security office is. He watches as a rather chunky guard leaves the room to get, presumably, more coffee and slips through the door before it can shut. All along one wall are monitors showing the goings on of the bank, sitting in front of them is a guard reclined in his chair staring at the screens with boredom.

Bucky frowns underneath his mask. This isn't something he planned for. He really should've, considering how successful he has been in the past. But, he supposes that he was bound to mess up in some way some time, he's just glad it's not as bad as it could've been.

The guard turns around nonchalantly, Bucky stares right at him, his cold eyes seeing right through him. He can see the fear appear on the face of the guard, his moustache quivers and his left hand twitches.

Bucky makes the first move. He jumps forward and kicks the guard in the stomach, hard enough for the guard to slam into his chair and fall over it. Before the guard can stand back up, Bucky pulls a knife out and propels himself over the chair with his metal arm. The guard stares up at him with wide eyes, fear and panic written plainly on his face. He attempts to scoot backwards, but ends up hitting the wall. His breath picks up. The expression on Bucky's face remains the same. Bucky presses his right foot into the man's chest, keeping him down.

It's then that the door opens with the return of the larger guard who had left to get coffee. He drops it as he sees what's taking place right in front of him. Before the other man can react, Bucky throws the knife in his hand which embeds itself in the guard's throat. He gurgles up blood and drops to the floor, dead.

Bucky turns to the guard under his foot, who stares up at him with wide eyes, and snaps his neck. The life fades from his eyes, but Bucky doesn't notice. He fiddles with the security cameras and shuts them all of simultaneously, watching as the monitors in front of him shut off.

He flees the security office after that and starts making his way towards the vault, avoiding the patrolling guards as he goes. It's then that he notices something is off. Moving through the hallway seems too easy. Easier than it was before even. He pulls out the gun from the holster on his back and peers around the corner into the room that contains the vault. Guards are standing in a circle, conversing amongst themselves. A couple stand in front of the vault protectively while some others stand around the room on lookout.

Okay, Bucky thinks, this looks bad but it could be worse.

As if the universe's sole job is to make Bucky's life a living hell, he hears a voice he hadn't wanted to hear at all. He's heard enough of it in his lifetime, more than he's ever asked for, to know it like the back of his right hand.

Although it comes out sounding less tinny than he generally hears it, he knows it's Tony Stark. He has no idea how the guards were notified of him being there, he made sure that he wasn't detected and the only two who had seen him were dead. Then Bucky remembers the guard from earlier, how his left hand had twitched. He thought it had been some sort of tick at the time, but now that there is a hoard of guards standing in front of him with Iron Man, he thinks that the guard must have triggered some sort of silent alarm.

Figures.

Bucky's pretty sure that he won't come out on top, no matter what. At this point, he can either go out with a bang, or try to sneak away. Hearing some footsteps from behind him, he realises that the halls are not as abandoned as he originally was led to believe and comes to his conclusion.

He's really been having an off night, he thinks.

The guards, and Iron man, turn to face him as he steps forward with his hands out in front of him in a surrender. They all aim their guns on his head except for Tony, who's aiming his repulsors at him instead. He doesn't have his face plate on like Bucky's used to seeing him, but other than that he's wearing one of his man Iron Man suits. Bucky lost track of them after the twentieth or so.

"If it isn't the Winter Soldier," Tony says to him. "Didn't think I'd see you. Normally no one sees you, this is a treat."

Bucky doesn't respond, he just stares at the billionaire.

"But, really, we all knew I was going to catch you sooner or later. Didn't think that the silent alarm schtick would work, but apparently it did, thanks to my genius," Tony gloats. Bucky refrains from rollings his eyes, he thinks of that as an accomplishment.

Before Stark can continue, Bucky reaches inside one of the pouches on his belt and pulls out a sleek silver bomb. He eyes the vault and decides he'll have to come back to this at another time. He crouches down and hears the guards release the safety on their guns. None of the guards have any time to react before Bucky activates the grenade and escapes the scene as quick as he possibly can. He looks behind him briefly as he's running towards the halls as Iron Man puts his face plate back on and grabs as many guards as he can. He takes to the air and flies over top of Bucky out of the bank.

Bucky makes it to the glass doors of the bank just as the bomb goes off, he doesn't bother to open up the doors and just jumps through them, breaking the glass and tumbling onto the ground. He hears the building start to collapse under the force of the explosive and stays flat against the ground as it shakes, debris tumbling around him.

Amongst the turmoil, all he can think about is how much he's fucked everything up.


End file.
